What Might Have Been
by Katarin MoonStar
Summary: 5 things that never happened to Travis Strong


What Might Have Been...  
  
Pairing: (see note at bottom if easily squicked)  
  
Notes: this is an answer to the Five Things challenge. The challenge, "Five things that never happened to..." They are technically supposed to be independent vignettes, but I'm terrible at answering challenges.  
  
Notes 2: Ed/Ted vignette named for ST:TOS ep. #77, and Steve Carter is from "Call of the Cougar"  
  
Warning: I don't know where the hell this came from. I had this idea that was kind of disturbing and...it turned into this. This is quite possibly the most disturbing thing I've ever written.  
  
Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice  
  
He thinks that it was his first clue. Walking up to Lily's back door in hopes of finding someone to talk to and finding something else. The guys had been just as available but... there was always a tension of sorts whenever he was alone with one of them anywhere. He remembers hearing a noise and looking in the side window, and *seeing* them. Lily and Audrey just... writhing on the floor. The play of their bodies had seemed... odd from his angle, but the view wasn't completely obscured so he had made due. Audrey had sat with her back to him, weight shifted backwards on her elbows with her head tilted down to look at Lily. Lily, who's blonde hair fell in curtains over Audrey's spread thighs. Her head was making these small up and down motions and Travis could hear the wet, slurping noises whenever Audrey's moans subsided long enough for anything else to be heard. Every so often he'd catch a quick glimpse of Lily's tongue, long and pink or her skilled musician's fingers as they thrust into the 'V' of Audrey's pelvis. Audrey would spread her legs a little wider and moan a little louder and Lily would increase her ministrations. They had obviously been at it for quite sometime before Travis had arrived, the sweat and... other fluids generously adorning their bodies assured him of that, and it wasn't long before Lily had Audrey on the cusp.  
She held her there for several minutes before finally letting her go. When it finally came, Audrey's orgasm was a mixture of arched back and muffled scream, her hands clasping on to Lily's, where they rested on her own hips. Then Lily shifted upwards and claimed Audrey's mouth. The kiss looked both sweet and savage and when Audrey finally drew back for breath, she looked tired. Lily seemed to sense this though and sat up to shift around the bedclothes that had become mangled while they were busy. When they'd been put to rights, Audrey lay down and drew Lily down on top of her. Lily lay with her head pillowed on Audrey's stomach, Audrey's hands lightly stroking her hair. It was an intensely intimate moment, and Travis wondered vaguely about where her parents were, then dismissed the thought. He turned away from the window and headed North, towards the station. He was halfway there before he realized that he'd never gotten hard.  
  
The Savage Curtain  
  
He remembers his second clue just as well as the first. He had been in the boys bathroom at school, last stall on the left, desperately wanting some alone time, when he heard Ed and Ted walk in. He lifted his legs up, so they wouldn't see him all the while wishing for them to leave. He didn't know why they bothered him so fiercely, it probably had something to do with the look of disappointment on his father's face when he brought home his report card and his father looked straight at his physics grade. He couldn't help it if he ended up juxtaposing that look with the look of glee on Ed and Ted's faces whenever their crazy ideas worked. He didn't mean to hate them, it just came out that way. So he closed his eyes, tried not to breathe too loudly and waited for them to do whatever it was they had come in to do.  
"Is anyone here?" he heard Ted whisper, his voice still echoing slightly off the hard tiled walls. "No, it's clear," Ed replied. The next sound he heard was much more muted, and it sounded an awful lot like kissing. "Oh god," he heard Ted gasp, while a slight sucking sound could be heard. Shifting slightly so he could see out the small opening between the wall and the beginning of the stall, Travis had a moment to thank cheap public school bathrooms, before he had to stifle a gasp. Ed and Ted were up against the far wall, furiously kissing. He couldn't see their hands, but from the play of the muscles in Ed's back, and Ted choked gasping noises, he didn't have to think hard to guess. Then Ed moved back slightly, and Travis didn't have to guess anymore. Ted's cock was dark and throbbing, nearly ready after only a few moments of Ed's attentions. "god Ed," Ted gasped out from where his head was buried in the crook of Ed's neck, agile tongue moving swiftly over the olive colored flesh, "I've wanted this all day." "Me to Ted," he heard Ed reply as he began fumbling with his zipper.  
Ed's cock sprang out from its zippered confinement, a deep red, and *spitting* precome. Ed had thrust his hip forward, driving his cock against Ted's, the friction causing Ed to close his eyes and shudder. Travis can still remember the scent of their desire, heavy and thick in the air, as Ed gripped both his member and Ted's in his fist and started to pump madly. Ted could only gasp and throw his head back. It didn't take long, three firm strokes and Ted was cumming, gasping out, "I love you," on his last shudder. Ed lasted for two more, before following Ted over the precipice. Ed slumped onto Ted, exhausted and Ted tilted his head up for a long, languorous kiss. While Ed tried to refocus, Ted reached over to grab a few paper towels from the battered box hanging beside them on the wall. Travis watched as Ted proceeded to clean the two of them off. He still hated them, maybe even more so now that he could see how good they really had it. He still hates them, but it doesn't change the fact that he's hard.  
  
My Pal Pronto  
  
He wasn't expecting anyone to come looking for him. He just wanted to lay down on the sleeping bag he kept stashed here and brood for awhile. He'd become very skilled in it; his father's cold disapproval, his mother's neglectful aloofness, and this painful coming to terms he's had to do with his sexuality, giving him ample time to practice. He was just settling down to a good long brood, when he heard a noise. For a moment he entertains the notion that it's one of his parents coming to look for him, before giving himself a slap of reality and going to find out what the noise was. He's surprised to find Ray sitting in his usual broadcasting place. Surprised, but not disappointed. He makes small talk, asking about Ray's little feud with his father (the kind of insignificant little fight Travis would kill for), and he offers his advice. He isn't prepared for Ray to ask him what he was doing at the station. He couldn't think for a moment and then, all the earnestness on Ray's face, that palpable desire to help Travis as much as Travis had helped him, almost drove him to tell Ray the whole sad tale. Almost, but not quite, another slap of reality, and he was making up some story about "loose parenting styles" and how "European" it all was. Ray seemed to buy it to, and that relieved Travis, but it also left him with this hole in the pit of his stomach. Sometimes he wanted to tell someone about it, just to see if they would care.  
He's not sure if Ray would know what to say though, and that's an awful place to put a guy, so he keeps quiet. Ray asks him if he thinks his father would really be willing to compromise, his eyes are so big and pleading, empty of the smirk that usually graces them; Travis has to lean forward and kiss him. It's soft, sweet, and completely one sided, for all of a moment until Ray opens his mouth and makes a whimper-like noise in the back of his throat. That one noise undoes Travis, and before he knows what he's doing he's surging forward and grasping large handfuls of Ray's shirt. He's certain his neediness can be conveyed through his body language and he can't deal with having to explain it to Ray, so he concentrates on making Ray forget. It isn't very hard really, Ray seems to forget everything, his father, Lily and the fact that he's supposed to be straight, the moment Travis' tongue enters his mouth. He pulls Travis flush against his body, allowing his tongue to tangle with Travis' as he holds on for dear life.  
Travis has one hand on Ray's hipbone and the other on the back of Ray's head, holding him in place. When he moves his fingers to play with the small hairs on the nape of his neck, Ray's give an involuntary thrust forward, and the proof of how much Ray's enjoying this digs into Travis' stomach. Ray lets out another one of those whimper noises and Travis thrusts back. They stand there for a few moments, mouths crushed together, and hips thrusting frantically against each there before Travis manages to get a hand between their bodies. He manages to unzip and unbitten Ray's fly and even push his pants down a bit before Ray actually seems to realize what he's doing. Ray drags his lips away and looks at Travis, deep brown eyes asking a question without words. Travis isn't quite sure what he's asking but he jerks his head towards the booth his sleeping bag is situated in anyway. Ray follows him, the lost look on his face both arousing and terrifying Travis. He knows how to do this, on a purely academic level, but he's never actually done it. Ray follows him down onto the little nest of sleeping bag and pillows and Travis can only be relieved, he doesn't have to explain anything and he doesn't have to think.  
He slips his hand back down towards Ray's still open fly and reaches inside, past the zippered teeth and into the cotton boxers. Ray's gasp when he finally makes contact with his bare flesh is nothing short of painfully erotic. Travis begins to pump slowly, speeding up gradually as he catches the right rhythm. Travis looks up into Ray's face and his eyes are closed, a look of ecstasy on his face, he speeds up a little more and begins to open his own jeans. He gets them open and reaches inside and shifts to his side enough to bring him cock to cock with Ray. He licks his palm and wraps his hand around both of them. Ray's close and Travis can feel that he won't take long either. He kisses Ray, hard and long while he continues to stroke. As he feels Ray jerk and warmth explode between them, he suddenly flashes back to the boys bathroom and how Ed and Ted had wrapped around each other so naturally, words of love simply falling from their mouths. He doesn't have that, but he does have Ray, hot and sweating and aching for Travis. Wanting Travis, needing Travis, and it really is all Travis wants right now. The human contact so real and so necessary right now, Travis has to bury his face in Ray's neck as he cums to drown out the sob that fights its way out. He lays in the dark with Ray, cum spattered bodies slowly cooling, and tries not to think about Ray going back home and making up with his father. He doesn't want to hate Ray, because Ray might have saved him tonight, a little sanity, when all he feels is the emptiness.  
  
Honesty is a Virtue, and I Don't Want Either  
  
He knows he can stop this, he does. It wasn't very long ago he was showing Steve Carter that he shouldn't mess with the new kid. It isn't that he couldn't stop him, it's that he doesn't want to. Ray wants Lily and it feels like rejection every time he smiles at her, or asks for advice on how to win her. He knew Ray wanted Lily, but once again, he let himself wallow in what might be and he's gotten burned. He didn't expect to have some kind of great love affair with Ray, but something other than a quick fumble between buddies (with him doing all the work) wouldn't have been to much to ask. Apparently it is and now Travis has deal with the remnants of some puppy love pipedream while aching for contact. It really was his last true taste of human interaction.  
He could still feel Ray, every time he flexed his fingers, and he could still taste Ray with every swallow of his throat, and it had been driving him insane. It's what drove him to this. He still remembers the first time, having to stay after school in gym class to help the coach for some reason or other, ("you have a bad attitude Strong") and walking into the locker room just as he was stepping out of the shower. He shot Travis a dirty look and continued to walk towards his locker. Travis kept looking though, maybe he wanted to be caught, maybe he wanted what came next, but he couldn't be sure.  
He remembers thinking "I can stop this," while Steve Carter pushed him to his knees and squeezed open his jaw. It hadn't taken long, 10, maybe 12 thrusts and he was flooding Travis' mouth with a salty fluid that wasn't nearly as bitter as Travis felt. He shouldn't have let it happen the first time, but he did, and then he kept letting it happen, and now here he was, in what he liked to refer to in his head as, prayer position. He doesn't meditate much anymore, he can't bear to spend that much time examining the inner workings of his mind and soul. They're both just to foreign to him now. So this is what he does now in lieu of meditation. He sucks cock, rather, he let's complete strangers that he doesn't really like fuck his face. He knows that he's at the point that he can't meditate anymore. Because honestly, it's hard to know yourself when you aren't someone you particularly want to know. For some reason though, he prefers this. Carter's cock, heavy and hot in his mouth, bitterly viscous fluid leaking from the head, is much more honest than deep, earnest brown eyes, and dark, clenching fingers. Carter's never reached out with a lying smile and tender lips. He's never called Travis' name out like he was something precious and beautiful, just to abandon him when the moment was over. Travis prefers it this way... it makes him feel less cheap.  
  
Daddy Issues  
  
He doesn't particularly like Waller, he never has. Something about Waller's condescending attitude, like he knows better than everyone else, simply by virtue of being an adult. He doesn't like how Waller seems to quietly disapprove of everything Travis does, even before he actually does it. To be quite honest, Waller acts like he's Travis' father, and he actually does a pretty fair imitation. He always looks so smug, so cocksure... it sets Travis' teeth on edge every time he has to speak with him, and today is no different. Waller sits across from him and spouts about Travis being a disruption, completely missing the point. That's what bothers Travis the most, about Waller and his father, they never see the whole picture. Waller just sees that he's being disruptive in class, he completely ignores the fact that he himself is a poor teacher on the subject of the Boxer Rebellion. It doesn't seem fair, that Travis stands up for the right of all students to actually receive a quality education, and he's punished for it. He isn't sure what he says, but before he knows it, Waller is looking at him with a strange glint to his eyes. It's a look he's become intimately acquainted with, Carter has it on his face every time he pushes Travis to his knees. Travis gets hard just thinking about it. A locked door keeps the possibility of discovery down to a minimum, and hand lotion from the 2nd hand drawer of Waller's desk acts as a make-shift slick. Travis has never done this before, but he doesn't tell Waller that. The sudden burn as Waller prepares him causes Travis to wince slightly... Waller doesn't seem to notice. Then he's finished and slicking himself and *thrusting* and Travis feels a sick kind of accomplishment in the small mewling noises escaping Waller's mouth. His body is rocked forward into the desk as Waller's thrusts increase in both speed and frequency. He's hitting Travis' prostrate on every thrust, but it isn't enough. Travis knows he isn't going to get a reach around, so he does it for himself. It isn't long before he's feels Waller jerk inside him before emptying deep within him. Travis' own orgasm eludes him but as Waller is riding his out, Travis can distinctly remember thinking that Waller really wasn't like his dad at all. His father has never paid this attention to him.  
  
Pairings: Lily/Audrey, Ed/Ted, Ray/Travis, Steve Carter/Travis, Waller/Travis 


End file.
